Essential Discussions for Couples Before Marriage

June 24, 2024

By cdarmody on June 24, 2024

While marriage is a lovely symbolic union of two people’s lives, it is also a significant financial turning point. Love might conquer many obstacles, but it's no secret that financial matters can put a strain on even the strongest relationships. Whether you plan to merge finances after marriage or maintain some degree of financial separation, it's crucial for couples to engage in open discussions about money before tying the knot.

With that in mind, here are what I consider to be essential financial discussions every couple should have before saying "I do." 

Providing Full Financial Disclosure 

Transparency is key. Before walking down the aisle, couples should lay all their financial cards on the table. This includes disclosing income, debt, assets, and any outstanding financial obligations. Being upfront with your partner about your financial situation will allow for increased trust and ensure there are no surprises down the road. 

Deciding Whether to Combine Accounts 

While many couples combine their finances and accounts after marriage, some will opt to keep their financial affairs separate. Combining finances can simplify accounts and access, though this can become more complicated if at least one partner has pre-marital assets; in this case, some type of agreement such as a prenup might become necessary. For some, keeping finances separate can provide a buffer against financial disagreements, while that separation can create additional conflict for others. Whether motivated by personal experience, financial philosophy, or practical considerations, discussing whether and how to combine finances is an essential conversation for couples to engage in. 

Aligning Financial Goals and Values 

It’s understandable that each partner may have differing financial priorities and values. However, it’s important to discuss and be aligned on long-term financial goals, such as buying a home, saving for retirement, or family planning. Understanding each other's financial aspirations allows couples to set goals and work as a team to achieve them.

Understanding Budgeting and Spending Habits 

Money management styles can vary between individuals, especially as a result of different life experiences and financial histories. Couples should discuss their attitudes towards budgeting, saving, and spending. Are you a saver or a spender? Do you prefer to splurge on experiences and material goods, or save for the future? Understanding each other's money habits can help prevent conflicts and foster financial harmony.

Debt Management and Repayment 

Debt can be a significant stressor on any relationship, and most certainly to a marriage. Couples should openly share any existing debts, whether it be student loans, credit card debt, or personal loans. Together, they can develop a plan to tackle debt repayment and avoid accumulating additional debt moving forward.

Financial Roles and Responsibilities 

In many relationships, one partner may take the lead when it comes to managing finances. However, it's essential for both partners to be actively involved and aware of their financial situation. This goes for couples who have combined their finances and for those who maintain partial or complete separation. Plan out who will be responsible for paying bills, managing investments, and handling day-to-day finances. Establishing clearcut roles can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure that tasks are shared evenly. 

Emergency Fund and Insurance 

Life can be a roller-coaster ride, and having a safety net in place is critical. Couples should discuss the importance of building an emergency fund to cover unexpected expenses, such as medical bills or car repairs. Additionally, reviewing insurance coverage, including health insurance, life insurance, and disability insurance, is essential to protect against unforeseen circumstances.

Retirement Planning 

It's never too early to start planning for your retirement! Couples should discuss their retirement goals and explore options for saving and investing for life after their careers. Whether it's contributing to employer-sponsored retirement plans like 401(k)s or opening individual retirement accounts (IRAs), having a retirement strategy in place early can ensure financial security and comfort later in life. 

Legal and Estate Planning 

Marriage brings with it legal implications, particularly concerning assets and inheritance. Couples should consider consulting with a legal professional to discuss important matters such as wills, power of attorney, and beneficiary designations. Planning for the future ensures the protection of both partners, and that their wishes are carried out in the event of illness or death.

Couples can avoid the tension that accompanies financial strain through engaging in open communication and proactive planning early on. Our Wealth Builder team often helps couples in this early stage of their marriage or relationship navigate their choices and difficult conversations. If marriage or joint finances is in your future, I encourage you to reach out or have a discussion with a member of our Wealth Builder team. Remember, it's not just about the potential merging of bank accounts; it's about building a life as a team based on trust, respect, and shared financial goals. 


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